diVine shadOw :: saVe mE fRom tHe darKnesS..

Monday, January 31, 2005

"the clock is ticking away.. i'm out of breath.. i can see the light at the end of the tunnel.. seems so near and yet, so far.. i swear i can reach it if i just stretched my hand.. hmmm... slowly but surely.. its coming.."

yeah.. that's another description on how i'm feeling.. but not for the wrong reasons okay??.. i'm alright.. its just.. hmm.. let me put it this way.. you ever get the feeling of being at the edge of the world.. when all you wanna do is let go of everything.. like when you have a big misunderstnading with your significant other, that you just feel so bad, you've been rotten for weeks.. and then suddenly, you realise that everything is going to be better.. even when you really thought that it would be impossible.. yeah, i'm happy now.. =p

this morning i got a message.. a message from my baby.. a message that i'm so happy to read, so happy that i forgot that my hands were slobbered in white paint and quickly pressed the buttons on my phone to reply.. a message that said that she was touched by what i wrote here.. in a way, a sense of accomplishment waved through me.. indeed, i had started writing these messages with the primary reason that i wanted her to read and realise how much i really love and care for her..

yeah, i know.. some of you might just say.. "why don't you just give her a ring and tell her straight that you're hurting??.. i mean, its the obvious thing to do!! c'mon!!" haha.. the main reason is that, yes, i'm afraid.. thoughts must be like creeping into your head saying.. wimp.. don't even dare to stand up to your girlfriend.. but its not true.. its just my nature that i don't argue.. i don't like confrontations and the even more i care for that person, the even more i don't wanna hurt and make them feel bad.. so thats me.. i can't do it...

there were a couple of people who really came to me and gave me their opinions and opended their ears.. some who even related their experiences.. something i thought that was really noble and brave.. to tell someone about your problems in your relationship so that i could mend mine.. and to them, i thank you so so MUCH!!! you know who you are and you should be proud of yourselves.. *i promise you presents* hehe..

in a way, it also opened up my eyes.. i really realised that i do have a bunch of great friends.. i really now think of them as my family.. my brothers and sisters.. lurve you guys so much.. one of them was JL. (let's just call her JL.. hehe.. you know who you are k?.. =p ) she was there to really console me.. my secrets that i have never told ANYONE, i told to her that night.. to be honest, i was actually going to go through another typical day of my life.. you know.. boring, secretive, with a big smiley-face mask on my face.. but she opened me up.. had me vent everything out, all the compressed emotions.. and she was really so understanding.. and i'm till now so grateful to have a friend like you.. i think i never appreciated you as well as a lot of my other friends in the past.. but since the exams have been over, i've been kinda ignored by a lot of other friends.. and its only now that i can filter out who's the true friends.. the ones whom you know will be there through the thick and thin forever.. and JL, you're certainly one of them yeah?.. hehe.. the 'komunis' of 5sc3, zero, 008, aaron and most recently, Gin.. you're all my real pals.. and honestly, i hope to be one of yours too.. *wink*

i started up the computer at around 11pm again.. and thought that i didn't wanna write anything for today.. but i realised that i really had to make a formal note of appreciation to these real life heroes of mine.. i seriously don't know what to do without you in my life.. and by the way, if i missed your name in the thx above, i'm sorry.. hehe.. but if you really think that you are my pal for life, tell me yeah.. i wouldn't wanna lose you!.. =)

so i'm ending the post today with a gigantic THANK YOU to those who've lent me their support.. (i know i'm thanking too much.. but thats just how appreciative i am.. hehe) and baby?.. i didn't mean for all those emotions to be public okay?.. i just wanted you to know without the hassle of arguing and fighting.. which is something that maybe can't be avoided at some point, but as long as we can escape the unhappiness of arguing, we might as well keep this up okay?.. muaks!

okay den.. don't wanna drag too long and become cheong hei.. hehe.. goodnite and goodbye to my lousy life.. a new page is waiting to be read.. =p

divinition slips into the oblivion.. 2:40:00 am

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Saturday, January 29, 2005

wow.. it's like been a couple of weeks i can drive.. and i must say.. in the beginning.. i was like so hooked on it, i finished 60 litres of petrol in like a couple of days... but now, i find its rather a chore than like... err.. can you say fun?.. haha..

everyday i have to go to school to fetch my brother now.. haha.. and now that i can drive, my mum literally chillin at home watchin tv.. haha.. (Aussie Open is now on.. tomorrow men's final! haha..) and so i've been given the responsibility to buy food (when my mum gets too hooked on the tv.. and doesn't wanna cook... heeehee..S), collect my dad's shirts from the laundry shop, fetching my brother, and going through all the traffic congestions!!.. arrgh...

but i think the worst case is &%$%#&* motorcyclists.. inconsiderate ones at that.. motorcycles are like supposed to be riding at the side of the road ma.. its the logical way rite?.. i mean because of their small and thin frame!.. but no.. not Malaysian motorcyclists.. i mean.. there are exceptions la.. some ppl DO obey the friggin law.. but most of them think that Sami Vellu, as works minister, is their blardee granfather.. they go on the middle of the road.. and they don't just stop there.. i'm like: "hello!!, its like an empty road!!.. can you pls hasten things a bit???.. or move your two wheeled contraption out of the way!!!..." arrghh.. now i know how road rage is like.. hehe..

but the worst thing is that i'm driving an old piece of junk!! >_< sek yau.. haih.. hehe.. drive a bit, like 1 twelfth of the petrol gone... hehe.. but luckily its provided by my dad's company ler.. hehe..

hmm.. some ppl might be surprised by the sudden change of mood.. you must be asking.. is like everything alright??.. well, to be frank, i still don't know.. but i know one thing.. going on and on about it, writing billions of posts on it, sulking everyday about it, and being too sensitive bout it also won't bring anything to me.. so from now on.. i'm going to take things as they come.. sorta like rebuttals in a debate.. haha.. i'll try to cheer up from now on... for my, hers and most importantly, OUR sake.. *wink* i love ya! miss ya so much...

and yeah.. just to tell ya.. one of the perks of fetching my bro, is that i get to at least get a look of her.. even if i can't talk to her then.. but i still think it helps being able to see that she's fine and happy.. that makes my day worthwhile.. mwah! bye bye..

and i gotta sleep before 12.. hmm.. kinda promise i made to her.. and i gotta keep it.. hahahaha.. childish as it may sound.. i'm a man of my word.. =p
g'nite world!

divinition slips into the oblivion.. 10:53:00 pm

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Friday, January 28, 2005

Beautiful Soul - Jesse McCartney

[Chorus]

I don't want another pretty face

I don't want just anyone to hold

I don't want my love to go to waste

I want you and your beautiful soul

You're the one I wanna chase

You're the one I wanna hold

I wont let another minute go to waste

I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special

To you I'd be always faithful

I want to be what you always needed

Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

I don't want another pretty face

I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Your beautiful soul, yeah

You might need time to think it over

But im just fine moving forward

I'll ease your mind

If you give me the chance

I will never make you cry c`mon lets try

I don't want another pretty face

Am I crazy for wanting you

Baby do you think you could want me too

I don't wanna waste your time

Do you see things the way I do

I just wanna know if you feel it too

There is nothing left to hide

I don't want another pretty face

You beautiful soul, yeah

another song that so really exactly tells my emotions now.. hmmm.. these few days its like been a lot of songs i've been hearing has something to do with my appaling life.. but this one really like word for word is the perfect explanation of me towards her.. been trying to download the song for ages but the darned radio djs' don't like saying titles of songs.. hmmm.. finally i got it though..

hmm.. the last few posts have been on my relationship and emotions.. and i think i've told everything i'm feeling.. well, to tell you the truth, i'm only writing it because i dont' have anyone to confide it.. no one at all.. no friends, parents definite no-no..

no friends you may ask?.. hmm... you know what?.. it's funny.. its like after school ends, my contacts with my friends just like vanished.. well, my father once said to me.. your friends in school aren't going to be your friends for the rest of your life. i fought with him.. now i know the truth.. it really is true.. now, after school's out.. i just realised who my real friends are.. i won't say names.. but i know now..

life a bitch..

mood now = torn

divinition slips into the oblivion.. 11:26:00 pm

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its so spontaneous.. a reaction so recognisable, its really unmistakeable.. so unmistakeable that you don't need to think or ask yourself twice whether you really found a soulmate.. you just know when you're in love.. how, you may ask? you know when you're in love when the sight of that very special person makes your heart either skip a beat or beat a thousand times faster.. you know you're in love when you feel that you want to make that person the happiest one alive.. you know you're in love when you hold that person's hand, you tend to sweat ( i know its kinda gross in a way... ) from the utter nervousness and joy of being this close.. you know you're in love when you walk in the mall aimlessly, side by side, hand in hand, because you'd wanna stay in that position forever, basking in the pleasure of each other's company.. you know when you're in love when you find yourself unknowingly staring akwardly at that person, because you feel that the person is indeed the most precious, and perfect creation in the universe and beyond.. you know you're in love when think about that person the whole day, from the time you open those eyes till the time you shut them..

those are really how i feel when i meet my baby.. hmmm.. i hear you ginny.. i really want to meet her more, talk to her more, bond our relationship in steel so strong its unbreakable... and most of all, i just wanna know her more.. it really seems like i've known her so well, and yet thinking again, i'm just tapping the surface of her vivid personality..

its really not that i don't want to see her.. heck if i really could, i would wanna be beside her all the time.. everything she does i wanna help, every second i wanna be standing there next to her, just enjoying her company... well, i know i can't actually do that.. it'll be more like being a stalker more than that of a boyfriend.. anyway, coming back.. i want to go out with her.. its just that maybe this year, the time factor has a big influence on things.. you know, studies come first.. i want the best for her, therefore i don't wanna pressure her to go out.. and i know that she can't so maybe thats why sometimes i don't bother asking.. i really really want her to succeed in her life.. if the way to go is not to bother her, i won't.. sometimes i tell myself that the saying "to love a person, doesn't mean having them.." is so true.. when you love a person, you just want the best for them.. even if it means suffering for yourself in order to achieve it.. and that in a way is how i try to do things.. i don't know if its right.. but if she's happy, i'll be happy too, even though i can't be with her.. don't get me wrong, i don't wanna break it up.. i NEVER want to..

but then again, even though my conscience is telling me that putting her and her studies as the main priority is the right way to go.. my other devil side of my conscience says otherwise.. its just that sometimes i get frustrated.. frustrated that things aren't working out the way it should be.. and sad that in spite of all i do to try to make her happy, i'm always not good enough.. i feel so lonely, and sorta shunned away from everyone.. even her.. and wad i want really isn't much.. just a message or a call saying that my efforts are recognized.. that i'm important in somebody's life.. just a tease or a anything to make me laugh or smile.. i really think i'm a simple guy.. i'm not those people who demand constant attention.. or those who forbid their girlfriends from talking to other guys, let alone looking a them.. or those who are so jealous that every boy who tries to strike a conversation with their girl is accused of trying to "steal" her away... i'm not like that.. i know how bad it would feel if i was their girlfriends.. being constraint to the nets and fences set by their caring boyfriends.. i hate to control her.. so is what i'm asking too much to give? by saying that, it's almost as if i'm really trying to FORCE her to do it.. but actually, i just want to know how she feels bout me and us.. whether she really loves me..
the reply i get: i dunno..

i really need to know because my heart needs to feed on the emotional gains i get from loving her.. i need to feel loved myself in order to love.. isn't that the logical way to see it? i don't know how much longer i can stand to tell myself that i truly love her and then getting hit by a thought asking what is this relationship going to bring me? happiness? comfort? security? content? not at the moment.. it really isn't..

i guess i'll ask her out again.. or maybe i'll wait for her to ask me out.. since i won't know when she's free.. maybe i'll wait for her to call instead, cause again, i don't wanna be calling in the middle of revision.. and maybe, all this will be fixed.. maybe this, maybe that.. hmmm.. that word's been playing in my head for a long time..
one thing's for sure though.. if it ain't solved, it'll continue to slide down into oblivion..

wanna know a sorta fact?.. i know that love can't be judged, compared, or be put into numbers and figures... but on a scale from 1~20, my relationship is now at a critical 8.. going down by the minute.. i really want to save this.. but i can't unless she figures her heart out first..

hmmm.. i've revealed more than i should and i really won't blame her for feeling angry at me because i'm making it public.. i know i would be.. but i also know that i would realise that i really gotta do something if i still love my baby.. and to stop the suffering he's going through..

(PS: i've broken a promise by typing this out.. i promised her i would sleep before 12, as the last few days, the maximum number of hours i've slept is 4.. well, its a gamble i took.. let's see what's the outcome.. and lady luck has never been shining down on my gambling skills.. oh well.. we'll see.. and i'm sorry for the promise.. it'll be done tomorrow..)

....GOODNIGHT....

divinition slips into the oblivion.. 1:55:00 am

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Wednesday, January 26, 2005

TRUE - Ryan Cabrera

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me
You might think I don't look
But deep inside the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
[mmmm..]
I'm weak, it's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak, it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?

[Chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

this song has been playing on my computer for a long long time.. hmmm.. maybe it's because it really has a sentimental value to me.. i mean.. do you ever experience times when you hear a song and like realise that what it says is EXACTLY how you feel at the moment.. well, this song totally is.. hmmm... let's just say i havent' been in the joyous mood these few days..

since i really have so much spare time, i've been thinking a lot you know.. been thinking bout myself and how have i been doing so far as a human being generally, a son, a student, a boyfriend.. you know, what are my achivements, my failures and really suprisingly, i've come to hate myself more.. detest how i've evolved mentally.. especially now.. when life bores me.. i'm staying at home idling my time away, i lost my contact mith my friends, i'm living a monotonous life for crying out loud.. and the saddest thing of all, my love life.. it isn't doing too well i suppose.. but i don't know whether i should talk about this.. hmmm.. decisions decisions...

there are many questions that remains unsolved, the type of questions you simply cannot answer, unless you ARE Bruce Almighty-like.. the sort of questions in that category is like... err.. let's see.. like why the sky is blue?; what is the meaning of life?; does god really exist?; who really is santa claus?; what is the meaning of the world's most famous 4 lettered word? and i don't mean f**k okay... as in what is the meaning of LOVE??? for centuries, man (and women alike) have been comtemplating on that very question.. so.. what really is love? is it:

a feeling of care, fondness, and the desire to make the one happy?.. OR
a lustful and naive sense of affection towards a member of the opposite gender (or the same.. in some cases).. OR
a reaction caused by the excretion of adrenelin, when your heart beats faster and faster when seeing him/her?.. OR
a sort of wanting to give the best of the best to the person you like and making sure that everything is perfect in their lives, regardless of anytihng that happens to you, be it death?.. OR
is it all the above?

hmmm... if i really had the answer, i would be sitting atop a cold mountain, in a meditation position, having rags taking the place of my clothes, with my hair ruffled and beard all long and snow white.. what i would give to have the answer.. it really could solve all my problems.. i mean, if i truly had an answer, i would be filthy rich.. as in rich in $$$.. but that's not what i want.. what i want is a sense of security, a bond so strong it would take the might of Zeus to bend it.. unbreakable.. if i had the answer, i would be able to help my other half be aware of her true feelings.. if i had the answer... thats a BIG if...

you see, what i really want now is someone i can really be with.. a person who understands me, who i can relate to, who cares when the world shuns me away, who makes me laugh and smile when the whole universe is sad and lonely, who can bring out the sun when the storm threatens to come.. yeah, i know what you're thinking.. that's a whole lot to ask from a person.. well, is it? hmmm.. i guess i'll never be able to find a person who truly understands me.. no one does, not even myself, that's why i HATE me so much.. all this anger, dissapointment, sadness, lonliness, its building in me like a sleeping volcano, a volcano so big that it'll erupt any moment, causing total destruction.. destruction of MYSELF.. i'm really scared, truly afraid..

yes, i'm going to admit a thing so unlikely of me, a person who's mostly, 97.3% of the time happy, joyous and so carefree.. i'm admitting that i'm actually a person who conceals all he feels, sees, thinks.. the real life Phantom.. yes, even the name fits, Erik.. apart from the letter k, i'm no different.. i want to be accepted, but i'm misunderstood.. that's why i live my life under the shadow of my mask.. my mask of happiness.. all the worries, all the building pressure to be the best i possibly can.. its really taking its toll.. only 2 people in the world know what i'm about to say.. one of them is me, the other, my ex-half.. i bet that everyone of you reading this cannot tell that i was once suicidal could you? i think not..

why am i like this, you may ask? well, the question i'm asking is why god is so darned UNFAIR to me?!!! i really can't take it anymore.. let's start from form 3..

when i was transferred from 3G to 3S, i really thought that the heavens were shining down on me.. why? because i was at last going to the same class as the love of my life at that time.. (i won't say names but my friends reading will know who..) i was euphoric.. but fate would have it that she would be going to Aussie only 6 months in the realtionship that i know was blossoming better than a rose in spring.. why was the timing so "PERFECT"!! i'm still wondering...
fast forward 2 years later and i'm again living in singles-ville again.. and then, just when i'm dreading the forthcoming exam, the perfect angel floats into my heart.. i was entranced by her.. truly, when i thought i had lost all hope on love, i just, really, bumped back into it.. by the stroke of, yet again, fate, i met her.. i won't explain how, but it was really fate.. well, i was into my final year in school, and she was in form 2.. and because i met her in the latter stages of the year, i only got to see her in school for the most a month and a half more.. but we progressed adn finally we were together.. wee, the hols came for her, so i was limited to seeing her only when we got the chance to go out.. because of the exams... i didn't go out.. and so, in that month of november, i only saw her like twice.. can yuo tell me that is good for a relationship? and it was still a raw relationship.. so the question i was asking myself, why why why why why didn't i meet her earlier? why why why why didn't i try when i had the chance?? i'm still rueing my missed chances...
now that the exams had finished.. i thought i finally could spend a little time with her and really get closer to her.. and i did.. in the beginning.. we went to prom, went for movies.. and then she had to go to school again.. then as it was a crucial year.. i couldn't see her again as much as i would like.. i'll let you in on a fact.. since the 18th of december 2004, i've only met her a couple of times.. and for your info, those meetings were only for 10 minutes MAX.. a twist of fate again?.. or my misdoings?? whichever the two, i still regret always..
the worst of all problems.. NATIONAL 'f**king ' SERVICE. i won't hide it.. i won't conceal how much i loathe, detest, hate, national service (and that includes every negative feeling possible..) i really don't wanna explain on this.. but as fate has it, i would be gone for another 3 months, and another 3 months without seeing her..

is it really fair??... you tell me... hmm.. i'm resigned to the fact that i don't know how much longer i'll last.. how much longer this sick life is going to torture and push me to the limit.. this is my first blog entry in a week plus.. and that's whats been running through my head... i really love her so much, so much so that there's no word to describe, no unit to measure how much my feelings are for her.. i really don't want to lose the best thing in my life for over 2 years.. and if she's reading this.. i hope she'll know that forever.. my blogger profile gave me this question

Q: The love potion you made tastes terrible. How will you drink it?

and this is how i answered it..

A: Love is always bittersweet... Its just deciding which side to taste... And i guess i'm tasting the best part...

i want her to know that she's the reason for everything i do, the reason i can open my eyes in the morning.. i love you..

divinition slips into the oblivion.. 11:43:00 pm

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Friday, January 21, 2005

Hosted by Photobucket.com

these few days have been again.. *sigh* a complete bore.. but i found some time to draw this pic.. haha... i guess i really have nothing to do ler.. my everyday routine now is wake up in the afternoon, eat my so called most important meal of the day, lunch, then off to fetch my lazy good fer nothin brother from school, then back again, sit in front of the monitor for the next couple of hours, then dinner, then its off to the idiot box till 3 in the morning... yeah... thats my life now... sigh.. i wish i could like find that spark to re-start my life.. the life that i miss now.. the life i had when i was still in school...

been attending japanese classes.. so thats a reprieve from the monotonous life i live now.. haha.. at least the teacher's kinda nice too.. a japanese ma.. hahaha.. ikeuchi-san.. ike as in pond, and uchi as in house... so together.. ermm... pond house.. but don't pronounce wrongly okay?.. hehehe..

yes, this is how you write my name in japanese.. hehe.. cool huh?.. haha.. using the japanese syllables, ikeuchi made this up for me.. hehe.. till next time.. when i overcome this writer's block of mine... hehe.. ja~!

divinition slips into the oblivion.. 6:08:00 pm

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Wednesday, January 12, 2005

you know what.. life can be really boring.. i mean seriously, if you don't plan what are you going to do the next day, you might end up dreaming and literally bore your life away! as what i did today... i woke at precisely 11 in the morning... (PS: its quite an achievement i shd say, since i normally okimasu in the afternoon... haha..) and the reason i woke up early, was that my mum's fren stopped by and they were chatting so loud downstairs, it was more like drums... or, so to say, they were my eardrums banging the constant notion, ordering mt to WAKE UP!!! and so i complied and then did the usual stuff like after waking up, tossing and turning in bed for another 10 ~ 15 minutes or so, slouching out of bed as if there was a big magnet trying to suck me back into dreamland... you know where i'm going with this.. haha.. then headed out for lunch! and it was so cheap!!! its like a chinese place near my home and for 4 chinese dishes, medium sized, and quite enough for 3 person, was priced only at RM25+... the '+' indicating tax of course... i made a mental note to return next time.. hehe.. then came home and the cruel reality of my boring life started to seep in... hmmm... it was almost as if my life started to fade into the monotoned black and white... i thought computer would help and it did, but only minimally... after 20 minutes of reading the creative and sometimes thought provoking comments by my friends on their blogs, i was again staring blankly into space... luckily SV reminded me of the gundam seed anime which he had lent me..
you know, i really didn't think i would make it through the 2nd episode.. i really honestly thought it would be boring.. haha.. but how wrong i was... i was HOOKED!!! really... i started watching it at approximately 1.30pm... and i got off my chair at 8.00pm!! haha... 6 and a half hours!... wow.. another first in my life.. hehe.. and the only reason i stopped was because my parents were hounding me to have dinner.. hehe.. then at around 9.30, it was back till now, almost 1.30 in the morning... by the next day or two, i shd be able to finish the whole 50 episodes... well, i got through today... at least now i have anime to keep me company for the next few days... then its off to work i guess.. can't start college.. might as well earn some cash to satisfy my wishlist.. hehe.. gotta go crash now.. eyes are a bloodshot red...

divinition slips into the oblivion.. 1:20:00 am

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Saturday, January 08, 2005

its the 8th of january of the new year and already the days where time seems to tick away at a speed slower than that of an old tortoise.. its already becoming a habit that i sleep at around 2 or 3 in the morning.. i just can't seem to keep my mind empty long enough to fall and drift into the realm of dreams.. as a result, i have to wake up at around 11, after the persistent bangings on the door by mum.. feeling grouchy, angry, and that the whole world is my mortal enemy... every single person, well, except for one... (i'll leave for you to ponder who... =p)

indeed, it was truly the same story today, slept late (at around 2.30am yesterday) cause i was doing my blog.. replacing the so-called stock template with another simple entitled shAdow.. the sight of this skin at blogskin simply captured my heart.. it was truly a beautiful skin, a work of art... the picture of the japanese samurai... with its colours ingeniously inverted created a classic black and white photo, while exhuding a sense of fear, sadness as well as hopelessness to the one seeing it.. i had no hesitations. and the next 3 hours i found myself stuck to the computer (as i have been for so long already) editing, changing, altering, organizing and assembling the HTML code that now makes the building blocks of my site...

and quite frankly, i have to say, i think its quite a success... i really like the black layout, as zero would certainly agree... hehe.. and the really, like sort of, minimalist image it now conveys.. haha.. now my future aim would be to alter the skin of my other 'photo-blog'... hehe.. feel free to check it out... just press the link and it'll transport you to the world through my eyes... hehe... till next time..

divinition slips into the oblivion.. 11:50:00 pm

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Wednesday, January 05, 2005

I...

can't wait to drive!! can't wait to drive!! can't wait to drive!!

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST...

can't wait to drive!! can't wait to drive!! can't wait to drive!!

hehe... just finished my last lesson on how to drive properly and ethically... haha.. well, i didn't learn to be ethical, just that its common sense to drive with a calm mind and politely if i may add.. haha.. wow!! the thought of legally driving by the latest next friday is overwhelming... FREEDOM is here...

you know... driving is like no fun thing man... you're in control of a machine which is capable of killing and damaging properties... so it's something of a burden and well, sorta responsibility.. hahaha... you know what... i think i sound like the chief-of-police giving a ceramah to the public on driving.... hahahahahahaa...

divinition slips into the oblivion.. 6:44:00 pm

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Tuesday, January 04, 2005

LIFE... the four letter word i looked forward to on december the 1st... well, don't get me wrong, i did enjoy LIFE, but only until i couldn't really think of wad to do now... seriously, i'm not enjoying it...
january 3rd, a day where throngs and throngs of students march back to school and i hve to admit, i'm really missing it... i thought i would loathe the thought of waking up early in the morning, lugging a bag of cement as our skool bags, then experiencing one of the longest traffic congestions you could ever face, day in day out... but no... i'm not hating that thought... (well maybe i do hate the part where i wake up early.. that i'll never miss... hehe..) but i do miss having a routine, having to not plan so many things now... miss tormenting the teachers, miss breaking school rules as if they were twigs, miss congregating in class with my friends and chatting as loud as we liked (of course, till the neighbouring staff room heard us.. =p)... all those are now etched in my mind as fond memories of a gakuse...
till next time... haha.. ciao!

divinition slips into the oblivion.. 11:44:00 pm

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